Twice this weekend I was reminded of "the truth setting you free", once it was on the bench behind the judge in the movie Real Steel ( awesome movie by the way and Hugh Jackman..five alarm fire), second on a show on tv, a man asked his boss, "which truth should I tell? , she replied, " the one that sets you free".
What does this mean to you? I know what the truth is for me right at this second, the truth is; I am hurt, angry, sad, sick, on the verge of tears, lost, stuck, not happy and totally pissed off at myself for feeling these things. I have to tell the truth, and the truth needs to be said to the following people:
My boss - get off your horse and remember that you once sat in my chair, and someone cut you some slack, so stop trying to put me down so I don't take your job, cause you know I can do it just a good as you, if not better.
My co-worker - You have a cold, cry me a river, not the end of the world and your acting like a over grown child. I wonder why anyone who sits in her chair and their have been four people in that job the last 4 years I have been in the department...watch, tomorrow she ain't gonna show.
V - Your actions speak louder than your words, and they hurt, they hurt a lot, I don't even have words for how I feel except, you need to choose, and mean it , prove it, and own up to it...you are what you are, but I can't be part of your life if you continue and it is not fair you dragged me into this, and tell me you love me and want to spend your life with me, it's a no brainer...sorry my friend, time to grow up and man up.
For everyone who thinks they know what is best for me and what I should "do". I can't help who I am, and who I love and what I love to do, so thanks for your two cents...but fleck off, and keep your nasty comments and garbage to yourself..I don't need it
Telling the truth set me free before, there are so many things that I want to say to my boss, to V to the nasty girl at the gym, but the truth I need to tell it first to...is myself, because once I admit the truth and see everything for what it is, no smoke screen, no rose coloured glasses and no "I love you"...cause that doesn't make everything alright and okay, it will set me free .
Which truth will set me free? The truth that, I love and love deeply, I work hard, and never give up, I can do it no matter what, I look only forward, regret nothing, and tell the truth....always.
xoxo
BT&HB
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
What I Am Thankful For ....
I am thankful for:
- My family, no matter how loud, crazy, annoying or just bizarre, I am honoured to be part of my big crazy Italian family
- My health, which is a blessing that I thank God for every morning.
- Yoga, and Melissa...the teacher appeared when the student was ready...thank you and Namaste.
- My job ( even though many would not think to be thankful for that) I am, because it gives me a insight into how the other side lives and income that I am grateful for.
- My friends, all of you bring something special and beautiful in my life...special thanks to Sabrina and my extended family in Florence..ti amo.
-My never ending faith in God and that I never walk alone.
- Music, sometimes the songs of a beautiful voice just brings me to tears, and grateful to be able to hear the words.
-Praying and meditation - praying is asking, meditation is getting the answers.
- My work outs ...brings me peace and power...
-V's family, just for welcoming me with open arms and always making me feel part of the family and including me in everything , special thanks to his Mom...she is such an inspiration.
- For V ...for all our ups and downs, on this crazy ride we are on...showing me that nothing is more important to him than my happiness, and I just hope that he knows nothing is more important to me that his happiness. Amore ti amo tanto, tanto.
Thanksgiving shouldn't just be thought of once a year, we should give thanks everyday, no matter what is going on in our lives and how bad today was...there is always tomorrow, a gift that many people don't have. So I leave you with this thought..
Give thanks for what you are today, and keeping fighting for what you want to be tomorrow. Love today like there is no tomorrow and never let a person leave without them knowing, that you thankful to have them in your life.
xoxo
BT&HB
- My family, no matter how loud, crazy, annoying or just bizarre, I am honoured to be part of my big crazy Italian family
- My health, which is a blessing that I thank God for every morning.
- Yoga, and Melissa...the teacher appeared when the student was ready...thank you and Namaste.
- My job ( even though many would not think to be thankful for that) I am, because it gives me a insight into how the other side lives and income that I am grateful for.
- My friends, all of you bring something special and beautiful in my life...special thanks to Sabrina and my extended family in Florence..ti amo.
-My never ending faith in God and that I never walk alone.
- Music, sometimes the songs of a beautiful voice just brings me to tears, and grateful to be able to hear the words.
-Praying and meditation - praying is asking, meditation is getting the answers.
- My work outs ...brings me peace and power...
-V's family, just for welcoming me with open arms and always making me feel part of the family and including me in everything , special thanks to his Mom...she is such an inspiration.
- For V ...for all our ups and downs, on this crazy ride we are on...showing me that nothing is more important to him than my happiness, and I just hope that he knows nothing is more important to me that his happiness. Amore ti amo tanto, tanto.
Thanksgiving shouldn't just be thought of once a year, we should give thanks everyday, no matter what is going on in our lives and how bad today was...there is always tomorrow, a gift that many people don't have. So I leave you with this thought..
Give thanks for what you are today, and keeping fighting for what you want to be tomorrow. Love today like there is no tomorrow and never let a person leave without them knowing, that you thankful to have them in your life.
xoxo
BT&HB
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Anger...The Energy Robber
What makes you angry? Petty things such as someone cutting you off while driving? Your boss being a testa di cazzo ( translated as dickhead), losing something, being insulted ...or do you just live and breath anger??
I pondered this question this morning...I have to admit, I get angry, but it takes a lot to really make me explode and never speak or see the person again ( unless it is the above mentioned testa di cazzo)...I was meditating and I have been feeling for months like I am stuck. Stuck meaning not moving forward, falling back into the same old habits that didn't work for me the first time around, not enjoying anything or any one's company. So I took a long hard look at myself today, and asked...."what is it??" "why am I constantly struggling to do and achieve?" the answer came back as..." your extremely pissed off".
Wow...don't know where that came from, since I consider myself easy going and a calm person, one is happy and thankful...but pissed off? I considered this internal insight, and my soul is right...I am pissed off. Pissed off that I try hard everyday to be a good person, pissed because it seems like no matter how much good I put out, or respect I give people or how much I love ....I get the short end of the stick. Bullshit really, but there is truth in anger.
Being angry robs you of moving forward with your life. It keeps all the energy you have stuck in your solar plexus, energy that can be used for better use. I know that the process of releasing my anger is not going to heal overnight, but I am excited about letting it go, feeling it and own it...then releasing it once an for all. I know in my heart that a lot of what I do daily that is "not" good for me, from negative thoughts, to silently wishing my bosses ass would get bigger with every beer she drinks, to wanting to scream at everyone..." shut the efff up...I am a person with feelings and I bleed, just like you do." Part of it is my fault, I have always been the strong one, the good girl, the go-to when you need something done and done fast...I never gave myself the chance to allow someone else to do something for me...for once, I wish someone who do something for me..without me having to tell them.
I am forever grateful to those in my life who have done things for me with out me asking...my parents, my sister and brothers, my best friend Sabrina ( shout out to you Sabby), all my friends ( you know who you are)...and for God up in heaven who has always protected me and guided me on this journey of life.
I wonder, what would life be like if everyone was happy? If we all blessed each other with love, lent a helping hand, shared and smiled at everyone just because it felt good to? I wonder how many marriages would be saved, how many kid's would enjoy their childhood, how many people would be spared pain, hurt, lost, and sickness. Our bodies hold the key to a happy life, sometimes...your stomach isn't making nosies because your hungry, it is making a plead to you to help release the devil inside.
xoxo
BT&HB
I pondered this question this morning...I have to admit, I get angry, but it takes a lot to really make me explode and never speak or see the person again ( unless it is the above mentioned testa di cazzo)...I was meditating and I have been feeling for months like I am stuck. Stuck meaning not moving forward, falling back into the same old habits that didn't work for me the first time around, not enjoying anything or any one's company. So I took a long hard look at myself today, and asked...."what is it??" "why am I constantly struggling to do and achieve?" the answer came back as..." your extremely pissed off".
Wow...don't know where that came from, since I consider myself easy going and a calm person, one is happy and thankful...but pissed off? I considered this internal insight, and my soul is right...I am pissed off. Pissed off that I try hard everyday to be a good person, pissed because it seems like no matter how much good I put out, or respect I give people or how much I love ....I get the short end of the stick. Bullshit really, but there is truth in anger.
Being angry robs you of moving forward with your life. It keeps all the energy you have stuck in your solar plexus, energy that can be used for better use. I know that the process of releasing my anger is not going to heal overnight, but I am excited about letting it go, feeling it and own it...then releasing it once an for all. I know in my heart that a lot of what I do daily that is "not" good for me, from negative thoughts, to silently wishing my bosses ass would get bigger with every beer she drinks, to wanting to scream at everyone..." shut the efff up...I am a person with feelings and I bleed, just like you do." Part of it is my fault, I have always been the strong one, the good girl, the go-to when you need something done and done fast...I never gave myself the chance to allow someone else to do something for me...for once, I wish someone who do something for me..without me having to tell them.
I am forever grateful to those in my life who have done things for me with out me asking...my parents, my sister and brothers, my best friend Sabrina ( shout out to you Sabby), all my friends ( you know who you are)...and for God up in heaven who has always protected me and guided me on this journey of life.
I wonder, what would life be like if everyone was happy? If we all blessed each other with love, lent a helping hand, shared and smiled at everyone just because it felt good to? I wonder how many marriages would be saved, how many kid's would enjoy their childhood, how many people would be spared pain, hurt, lost, and sickness. Our bodies hold the key to a happy life, sometimes...your stomach isn't making nosies because your hungry, it is making a plead to you to help release the devil inside.
xoxo
BT&HB
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