Omen - an occurrence or phenomenon believed to portend to a future even. - Webster's Dictionary
I keep seeing spiders everywhere. It is the time of the year when they are more visible, they come in from the outside, sneak up on you when you least expect it, one second they are there - the next they are gone. Why am I talking about spider's?? Because after watching Spider Man 3, seeing one yesterday and one falling right in front of my computer this morning - I take it as an omen.
The spiritual meaning of a spider is the following:
Spider - Weaver
" As spider weaves her web so we weave our realities. This medicine teaches to remember that we are the creators of our lives, that we ARE the creators of our lives."
The spider this morning that literally fell right in front of my keyboard...made my choice for me today. I was unsure if I should see my ex V tonight. Long story short, how many of us have the chance to face our ex's after some time and under friendly terms? How many of us would? I thought to myself that I can handle it, I don't love him that way anymore and I am a grown woman, but what could actually come of this?? Would I say what I wanted to say? Would I tell him that it didn't hurt that he didn't want to be with me, but the asshole way he did it? Would I feel the same way I did when I was with him? These are all things that would come and go out of my mind...and finally the spider came along.
The spider reminded me that I am the weaver of my life, that I have a choice; to weave the same pattern of my past - or move forward and weave the life I was meant to live. I have said it so many times, nothing that is said or done, can change what has come to past.
As much as the old me would dream of the day to be able to stand in front of a man that I have loved and lost and tell them how they treated me broke me, the new me will only stand before one man of my past. That man is one that I have not mentioned and only few know about. He is my soul mate and the only one to have respected me, loved me, and was honoured to walk with me on his arm, a true gentleman. If I am going to see a man from my past...the only one it will be is J, because he taught me how to love.
Today made me see that if I am going to weave a web for my future, it is going to look like the web that J and I weaved together, we had hope, love, passion, friendship ..respect. All the things that I have been missing since him. Today, I found the courage to not use the old pattern ..but to weave a new one.
XOXO
BT&HB
